portable quote

This quote came from Jim Garland , former group guru and faculty at the Boston University School of Social Work. Many years ago, I had organized a meeting with him an my fellow male social work students to talk about our experiences. He said,

Men have side by side relationships and women have face to face relationships.



For a sweeping generalization, I have found this to be very helpful over the years in understanding some important relational differences. I was reminded of it recently while meeting with a mother and her adult daughter. And it turned out that one of their struggles is that the daughter prefers a "face to face" relational approach while the mother prefers to have an activity involved approach, like cooking - a side by side approach. Being able to understand what they want from each other has meant and will continue to mean looking for intersecting relational opportunities.